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  • Writer's pictureElizabeth Schwartz

How to Heal Your Emotional Relationship with Money

Money means much more than dollars and cents—it represents core issues around self-worth, security, power dynamics and deeply-rooted childhood experiences for millennial women. No wonder so many of us have an incredibly complex, dysfunctional relationship with it.

At the heart of our unhealthy money patterns lie emotional blockages and money trauma we need to unpack. Otherwise, we stay trapped in the same self-sabotaging cycles around earning, spending and self-worth.

If I reflect back to my own childhood, while raised in a fortunate middle class household, the only fights I can remember my parents having were about money. I truly can't put my finger on ANYTHING else. I look back at my mother's desire to upgrade our house into a nicer neighborhood and me embarking on private university level education as two inflection points that I, of course, didn't realize as a teenager, but now do! I also recognize the flight of fight mode that my immigrant parents lived in. They were in survival mode and only wanted a secure and peaceful life. However, this limited their growth because they were too afraid to take risks and/or fought about which financial risks were/weren't worthy.

I realize now what these moments meant for me and how they shaped me in my adult life. I recognize how much gender roles & ego come into play, something I didn't look at until I was forced to reckon with my own money habits... and I think it's important that you understand these moments for you too.

Here are some mindset shifts to rewire your emotions and build an empowered relationship with money:

Get radically honest: Wake up to your core beliefs, automatic thoughts, fears and coping behaviors around money through brutally honest self-reflection. What childhood experiences shaped your attitudes? How about your actions? How does scarcity or an obsession with status factor in? Journal and observe yourself without judgment to shine light on your blindspots.

Rewrite the old scripts: After getting clear on the outdated, disempowering money narratives holding you back, you can begin consciously reframing your perspective with new beliefs. Use affirmations, visualizations and thought-looping to reprogram your mindset daily. "I am worthy of wealth. Money is a positive energy to be embraced." This is something

Shift to abundance: At the root of so many money issues is a scarcity mindset rooted in fear—the belief there will never be enough so we must hoard, restrict or constantly chase more. But you can train an abundance mentality through practices like gratitude, generosity and mindfulness around consumption. From this space, you attract more money energy.

Confront the shame: Many women carry deep money shame stemming from social stigmas, family attitudes or self-worth issues. We must heal that toxic energy of not feeling deserving or good enough. Voice your fears and give yourself permission to release the heavy chains of unworthiness. Only then can you claim your value. Money is also often times used as a means to control women. We need to flip the narrative and earn enough of our own money so that we can take back that control.

Cultivate self-respect: So many unhealthy money behaviors are driven by seeking external validation or numbing insecurities. Taking the time for compassionate self-love, self-care and self-respect is essential for making grounded, empowered money decisions from your most confident self.

Money is an energetic exchange: From this perspective, money is not just inert currency—it's the life force energy we exchange through our intentions, efforts, transactions and consciousness around abundance. What we put out is what we get back. So bringing awareness, integrity and positivity to your money relationship magnetizes more wealth.

Building a transformative money mindset begins within. It takes vulnerability, self-compassion and commitment to interrupting generations of negative conditioning. But this inner work quite literally changes your financial reality by aligning your energy with abundance.

Part of the work that is necessary, imo, for a fruitful life <3

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